Princess Aware!

There are times that I think the whole life cycle I am going through is just an other test from the Lord. Though it is part my doing, I do feel that God has orchestrated many of the events in my life to happen when He was ready for them to happen. I know that “free will” allows us to make our own roads. I know that once I became a follower of Christ my life became God’s to do as He willed. Many people find this hard to understand and comprehend. When we look at the things that go on in our own lives, can we honestly say that for everything we have done, it has put us on the road we are on now?

I wonder what my life would be like if I had not chosen Jesus as my personal Savior. I wonder where I would be if I had not chosen to stay with my husband all those years ago. (Thirteen almost fourteen years ago, when I was young and stupid.) Then I think of the beautiful children Jesus and my husband gave me. Ashley smiles so much. I know, God knew, I would need her during the past few months. Without her smile and her growth in the last six months I’m not sure I would have been able to stay strong in my faith. I know that faith not tested is not refined. It doesn’t mean it will be easy. By no means does it mean life will be easy.

The hardest thing I have done in my thirty-two years is believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord over all my life. The hardest thing I will ever do is walk in the light of Jesus Christ. The darkness of the Devil is easy compared to the light of Christ. I say this because the world’s religion is so against the truth of Christ. I say this because if I call myself a Christ follower people look at me strange. I am asked if I am a Christian. I can’t call myself that anymore. There are so many “Christians” out there that have nothing to do with Christ. They only have their own agenda, their own self in mind.

I know what my call is in life. I know what I should be doing with my time, well what time I have left. I know where my priorities should lay. I know what God wants me to do with the talents He has given me. I just don’t know where to begin. I am wondering around in the light asking, “Where am I supposed to go?” I keep thinking that one day I will wake up with an “ah-ha” moment! Will be able to say I have it all figured out and know that this is the path that God wants me on. Maybe if I just get rid of all the excess junk in my life, I will be able to handle it. Right? Maybe not.

Satan is very good at what he does. The Bible says, “He is like a roaring lion, out to devour and destroy us.” He, Satan, knows all the same verses I do. He knows all my weaknesses. He knows all my faults. He knows all the things that make my little brain go into a frenzy of doubt. He knows when to wake the baby, so I don’t have a chance to do God’s will. He knows how to cripple me with pain and fear and failure, before I even sit for Him, who calls me.

My pastor spoke, last night in service, about having joy even in hard places. My Bible study speaks of endurance and preservation. My soul sings of doing the work of God. My life and all its ups and downs, says, “No way are you going to have time or energy to do God’s will!” I will say, “Yes way. I am a Princess of God. A daughter of the Most High. I will do His will.”