It is funny that someone would think I am not thankful for my husband. That is wrong.
Everyday I thank God for the gift he gave me. Everyday I am thankful for the ease it is to live with, even though sometimes it is very hard. God helps me to see everything that he does for us without fail, every single day. I pray for God to show me, things he does that I do not see, because it is in those times, I see where God wants me to pray for him.
The son that God gave me, I realize is lost. Salvation is, foremost, I can guess, in God's mind for His son. The only way I can help is to show him how a Christian, no a Christ Follower, should act. I am not perfect as you can tell by my writings. I am full of faults, full of doubts and pain and spiritual loneliness.
It amazes me, that my husband still loves me, despite all my faults and failings. I love him very much and I do thank God everyday for him. I do not have to worry about him not coming home, or spending his paycheck at the local bar. I do not have to worry about not having things that I or our daughter needs, he makes sure he does his best for us. When he feels he fails short, I pray God would provide for him, whatever it is he needs, at the time.
Right now, we are one of the millions of families suffering the financial strain, unsure of how we are going to keep our home and car, while the economy is slumping and does not seem to be pickup up anytime soon. These worries he stresses to me, his fear of not being able to provide. I ask God to take care of him and give him the wisdom that I can not. I ask God to help me, to help the son He gave me. All I can do is pray and keep his home and family as happy as possible.
You asked about the picture and why he is not in it. First, he does not like his picture taken, so I have very few pictures of him. The picture I have on this site was actually a Christmas present to him a year ago. Second, unfortunately, he does not want to be associated with Christ right now. He does, I am sure, realize that through me he is associated with Christ, but he does not believe the way I do. In fact, I have been told by him, that believing in “religion” is a crutch for the weak minded. A far cry, from my belief, that Christ is the one and only way to God. Hence, my prayers for his salvation.
I guess were this is going, is to let you know, those who do visit this site, I do love and thank God for the gift I was given in my husband. It is easy for those on the outside looking in to say that something is missing, but we do not live in glass houses. Every gift, whether it be, your husband or child, should remind you how great a God we have. He gave us something that was hard and something that we were not sure we could handle, but He knew, from the beginning, that we needed His gift in order to grow in Him.
Everyday may bring new challenges and new hopes, but everyday should bring us closer to Him, who created us and loves us very much. Keep on praying and one day, God will see His son return.
In Christ’s love, until next time.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Living It
In this world of uncertain times we wonder if all the work we perform in marriage is worth it. I pray for my husbands’ salvation, for him to come to know Christ as intimately as I do.
There are days that I feel as though I am peddling on a conveyor belt the wrong way. When words spoken cut deeper than a double-edge sword, my heart bleeds with pain piercing so deep only our Lord would be able to heal.
I wrote Broken Yoke and Broken Yoke II on helium.com/hannahreinert, some people said, “Don’t put yourself in that situation.” I was mortified to hear people saying how not to put yourselves in those situation but no one said anything about living that life. I know for a fact when I got married I was not walking with Christ, but I married my husband and came to Christ later. My pastor had talked about not marrying an unbeliever but no one, not one person I have found has said anything about living that life.
When I was young in marriage I followed the advice of sisters-in-Christ and left my husband. I traveled on a Greyhound bus with an 18-month old child for three days to Arizona. I went home to Mom. I learned during that time away to forgive myself for my own mistakes, in marriage, in life, and in Christ. I was looking at marriage all wrong and Christ showed me that. I was to see my husband for what I saw in him when I married him. I asked him to change while I stayed a baby Christian. I asked God for forgiveness but not my husband. Years later that one instance blew up in my face and I begged forgiveness from my husband. It has taken a long time and he does not easily forget, but we have moved on.
There have been other things, bills and stuff, it has not been an easy ten years, but the Lord has blessed our house in ways my husband will never ever begin to see. It pains me, because at times when we needed just milk, it was provided late at night. The Lord does bless us.
The Lord once brought me to Proverbs 31:10-31 (NKJV). I love the New King James Version; the words used are so rich with God’s love of what He really expects from us. I seek daily to become this woman. In this scripture Jesus showed me the way to my husband’s soul. Verse 30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” This verse speaks volumes into my life as a wife and mother. It does not matter what the world says about our marriage or child-rearing, it is only the Lord that matters. All our labor and toil are grasping of the wind, Solomon told us this in Ecclesiastes. We ought to look to the Lord at all times.
Take time to go through Proverbs 31. There is a study by Elizabeth George called Discovering the Treasures of a Godly Woman. It is well worth the 15 minutes a day you’ll spend. Then keep going back to Proverbs 31 and ask the Lord how you are doing to become this woman He would like to see you become.
First and foremost, get yourself right with the Lord. Seek His wisdom and guidance daily, become this Proverbs 31 woman, pray, pray and keep praying. The Lord will bless your home and your family – even if your husband does not see it, you will.
There are days that I feel as though I am peddling on a conveyor belt the wrong way. When words spoken cut deeper than a double-edge sword, my heart bleeds with pain piercing so deep only our Lord would be able to heal.
I wrote Broken Yoke and Broken Yoke II on helium.com/hannahreinert, some people said, “Don’t put yourself in that situation.” I was mortified to hear people saying how not to put yourselves in those situation but no one said anything about living that life. I know for a fact when I got married I was not walking with Christ, but I married my husband and came to Christ later. My pastor had talked about not marrying an unbeliever but no one, not one person I have found has said anything about living that life.
When I was young in marriage I followed the advice of sisters-in-Christ and left my husband. I traveled on a Greyhound bus with an 18-month old child for three days to Arizona. I went home to Mom. I learned during that time away to forgive myself for my own mistakes, in marriage, in life, and in Christ. I was looking at marriage all wrong and Christ showed me that. I was to see my husband for what I saw in him when I married him. I asked him to change while I stayed a baby Christian. I asked God for forgiveness but not my husband. Years later that one instance blew up in my face and I begged forgiveness from my husband. It has taken a long time and he does not easily forget, but we have moved on.
There have been other things, bills and stuff, it has not been an easy ten years, but the Lord has blessed our house in ways my husband will never ever begin to see. It pains me, because at times when we needed just milk, it was provided late at night. The Lord does bless us.
The Lord once brought me to Proverbs 31:10-31 (NKJV). I love the New King James Version; the words used are so rich with God’s love of what He really expects from us. I seek daily to become this woman. In this scripture Jesus showed me the way to my husband’s soul. Verse 30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” This verse speaks volumes into my life as a wife and mother. It does not matter what the world says about our marriage or child-rearing, it is only the Lord that matters. All our labor and toil are grasping of the wind, Solomon told us this in Ecclesiastes. We ought to look to the Lord at all times.
Take time to go through Proverbs 31. There is a study by Elizabeth George called Discovering the Treasures of a Godly Woman. It is well worth the 15 minutes a day you’ll spend. Then keep going back to Proverbs 31 and ask the Lord how you are doing to become this woman He would like to see you become.
First and foremost, get yourself right with the Lord. Seek His wisdom and guidance daily, become this Proverbs 31 woman, pray, pray and keep praying. The Lord will bless your home and your family – even if your husband does not see it, you will.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Alone in marriage - Part I
First I will thank the Lord for my husband. He is a great man with faults and enough love to put up with mine. Our Lord has been teaching and showing me all the wonderful things about his son and those things I wanted to marry.
Spiritually we are separate. I am alone when I pray over our needs; alone when considering our child’s spiritual needs. Alone when it comes to my family and alone when I serve God through the church. Now granted, I serve a large family at Calvary Chapel of Melbourne. I serve a large number of parents and their children in the Children’s Ministry. I absolutely love being around the little ones and enjoy them. The senor pastor, Mark Balmer, is a very gifted speaker and a great man.
I can walk through those doors, with close to or over 6,000 people (on a weekend – with 3 services) and sit in service or serve in the Children’s Ministry and feel utterly alone. I remind myself – when I see couples walking down the aisles or sitting huddle together – that Jesus is with me and He is sitting next to me, but it is not the same. (I am so glad God hears our hurts even though we don’t say them!) These days are pretty hard. Just coming home is even harder.
It is amazing how two people can love each other - through trials and adversity, through happy times and times when life seems to be altogether – a hole forms in one and it won’t be filled. God says in 1 Corinthians 7:14(NIV) For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Mr. Gary L. Thomas’ book Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands, I would have to recommend for all of us who are unequally yoked. There is so much vital information, spoken in brotherly love, to help us to understand our husbands. It also helps us to become real “helpers comparable to him.” (Gen. 2) This book is amazing; it gave me hope and showed me things I did not know, but I was still left alone. Do not misunderstand me, Mr. Thomas’ book is a spiritual gift to us woman; he gives practical advice, helps you to understand why your husband is the way God created him. Please take the time to read it, allow it to sink in, meditate on it, pray over it and go to God before you sit and read. Take it slow, try some of or all of the advice he gives. Just remember it will take time; a lot of time for anything to happen. When you are discouraged, go to God on your knees and cry out.
For me…well, I am still alone and I know, one day God will allow my husband to walk into church with me or better yet, just pray with me. It has been a long marriage of ten years – more than most, now days, can say. I love my husband and continue to pray for him, as does our daughter.
So what do I do to handle the spiritual loneliness? I pray, I go to my friends (women – not men) at church, and I try to make sure I am not in situations where Satan can push me over the edge. Meaning, I do not allow myself to become too involved with men in my area of ministry. That is something that Satan knows is a weakness. My husband and I have different interests, so I try to find a middle ground for us. My husband is awesome with military facts and aircraft; I love to read and write, play with kids and NASCAR, so finding middle ground there can be hard, but we both make and effort.
That has a lot to do with what God is doing in our home. I make an effort to be the wife God wants me to be and I try to “help” my husband in everyway possible. No it is not easy. Yes I get discouraged. Yes I am lonely, but with God on my side, my husband has no chance of getting away.
Keep praying…keep praying…keep reading your Bible…keep going to God on your knees. Keep yourself connected with godly woman and most important keep looking to God. Do not give up or Satan wins!
Spiritually we are separate. I am alone when I pray over our needs; alone when considering our child’s spiritual needs. Alone when it comes to my family and alone when I serve God through the church. Now granted, I serve a large family at Calvary Chapel of Melbourne. I serve a large number of parents and their children in the Children’s Ministry. I absolutely love being around the little ones and enjoy them. The senor pastor, Mark Balmer, is a very gifted speaker and a great man.
I can walk through those doors, with close to or over 6,000 people (on a weekend – with 3 services) and sit in service or serve in the Children’s Ministry and feel utterly alone. I remind myself – when I see couples walking down the aisles or sitting huddle together – that Jesus is with me and He is sitting next to me, but it is not the same. (I am so glad God hears our hurts even though we don’t say them!) These days are pretty hard. Just coming home is even harder.
It is amazing how two people can love each other - through trials and adversity, through happy times and times when life seems to be altogether – a hole forms in one and it won’t be filled. God says in 1 Corinthians 7:14(NIV) For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Mr. Gary L. Thomas’ book Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands, I would have to recommend for all of us who are unequally yoked. There is so much vital information, spoken in brotherly love, to help us to understand our husbands. It also helps us to become real “helpers comparable to him.” (Gen. 2) This book is amazing; it gave me hope and showed me things I did not know, but I was still left alone. Do not misunderstand me, Mr. Thomas’ book is a spiritual gift to us woman; he gives practical advice, helps you to understand why your husband is the way God created him. Please take the time to read it, allow it to sink in, meditate on it, pray over it and go to God before you sit and read. Take it slow, try some of or all of the advice he gives. Just remember it will take time; a lot of time for anything to happen. When you are discouraged, go to God on your knees and cry out.
For me…well, I am still alone and I know, one day God will allow my husband to walk into church with me or better yet, just pray with me. It has been a long marriage of ten years – more than most, now days, can say. I love my husband and continue to pray for him, as does our daughter.
So what do I do to handle the spiritual loneliness? I pray, I go to my friends (women – not men) at church, and I try to make sure I am not in situations where Satan can push me over the edge. Meaning, I do not allow myself to become too involved with men in my area of ministry. That is something that Satan knows is a weakness. My husband and I have different interests, so I try to find a middle ground for us. My husband is awesome with military facts and aircraft; I love to read and write, play with kids and NASCAR, so finding middle ground there can be hard, but we both make and effort.
That has a lot to do with what God is doing in our home. I make an effort to be the wife God wants me to be and I try to “help” my husband in everyway possible. No it is not easy. Yes I get discouraged. Yes I am lonely, but with God on my side, my husband has no chance of getting away.
Keep praying…keep praying…keep reading your Bible…keep going to God on your knees. Keep yourself connected with godly woman and most important keep looking to God. Do not give up or Satan wins!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Sorry!
Well, well, well, I was going to write today on being alone in a Christian marriage but, my stomach was really mad a me. Please forgive me. I will update tomorrow, when I can think straight and not have to go so often. I'm we all have been there.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Help!
I am trying to go freelance and there are so many writers out there, with so many things they can already do. I feel like I am just another fish in the school. I guess the more I look into it the more I get discouraged. I know that there is something out there for me but finding it is like finding a needle in a hay stack.
So much for being able to just walk in and write, right? Well I know that I can write, I have been for as long as I can remember. I write a lot of poetry and have written some articles.
I have been writing a book with sequels but haven't a clue on how I want to finish the first one. It has been quite a while since I wrote in my own book. I am having a bit of writers' block on how to get from the middle to the end. I looked back over it, well started to and realized that I wasn't happy with the pace of it and put it down. I have to try figure out how I want to condense it and finish it before I try to publish it.
Anyway, if there is anyone out there that could offer help on freelancing I would greatly appreciate it. Talk to you later.
So much for being able to just walk in and write, right? Well I know that I can write, I have been for as long as I can remember. I write a lot of poetry and have written some articles.
I have been writing a book with sequels but haven't a clue on how I want to finish the first one. It has been quite a while since I wrote in my own book. I am having a bit of writers' block on how to get from the middle to the end. I looked back over it, well started to and realized that I wasn't happy with the pace of it and put it down. I have to try figure out how I want to condense it and finish it before I try to publish it.
Anyway, if there is anyone out there that could offer help on freelancing I would greatly appreciate it. Talk to you later.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Day's Rain
The gentle pitter-patter of the rain is the only sound.
Like the ocean, rocking you to slumber land.
The suns golden rays set behind the clouds.
Darkness falls over the land.
The rain continues a little harder now.
The tranquility sets in.
Time stops.
Day’s rain.
Like the ocean, rocking you to slumber land.
The suns golden rays set behind the clouds.
Darkness falls over the land.
The rain continues a little harder now.
The tranquility sets in.
Time stops.
Day’s rain.
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